In recent times I was spending time with my elderly parents, accompanied by my own children. We don’t see each other as often as I would like, and though my folks really are fond of their grandchildren, their life styles (or should I say their life pace) is so vastly different to these young ones, that combining these different generations under the one roof for any length of time is a challenge.
What was really eye opening for me, in our combined generational household, were real live examples of E Meter Drill 20 in full action.
My children, well accustomed to a well-disciplined use of the two way communication formula, have had real problems coping with grandparents who do not have and use the formula.
Just some examples over a 24 hour period included: a child trying to communicate something and not being answered; a child being talked over the top of with a non-sequitur origination; a child talking too softly to a grandparent that is hard of hearing; a child’s comm being cut with an assumed answer or response; a grandparent asking a question and answering it for the child at the same time; a grandparent asking a child about something and then not accepting or really even wanting the answer to the question, and more.
Now understand that my folks are not Scientologists – never have been. There is nothing malicious or evil about them. They love us and the kids, and we adore them. But the truth is there is a lot of talk that is social machinery and circuits and “now we are supposed to’s” and this – plus the lack of two way communication – makes it painful at times to endure.
The kids responded loudly with protest and upset (in more ways than one), resulting in reproving comments about manners and children (and the parental failure to discipline – -yep that must be us!). I even got pretty upset at one point — as did my own folks.
Part of this problem stems from the fact that we use and apply the two way communication cycle in our family – so kids have grown up knowing that they will be listened to, and that their opinion is worth voicing.
The kids have also generally learned that they need to get a person’s attention before they can get a communication across – and they know the importance of being duplicated if they want to be understood. And I guess now they are learning that there is more to learn about communication – and just because we have communication in our house – does not mean these basic communication disciplines exist in other households. And this is another one of those lessons that we too, as parents, are uncomfortably digesting. I saw that if we were going to survive under one roof for another day, then we had to get some discipline in on communication before we all started to get bloody minded (me included).
I went and relooked at E-Meter Drill #20, How to Dirty and Clean a Needle, as this is essentially what occurs when the two way communication cycle is fractured. I looked at it from the view of how to CLEAN the needle once it has been dirtied by another – and I have used it to make our stay with my parents a little easier for all concerned.
The purpose of that drill is to teach a student auditor what causes a dirty needle and to train them on how to clean a dirty needle. The drill includes a series of questions, such as What is your name? What is your weight? Are you married or single? Where do you live? Do you watch television? Etc.
The student auditor has to dirty and then clean the needle by doing the following:
1. Ask the questions before the student is ready to receive the question until you have a dirty needle, and then clean the needle.
2. Ask the questions in such a way that the student will not receive the questions, until you have a dirty needle, and then clean the needle.
3. Ask the questions in such a way that the student doesn’t have a chance to answer any fully, until you have a dirty needle. Now clean the needle.
4. Ask the questions, let the student answer, and then pretend to misunderstand his answer by saying you don’t understand. When the needle becomes dirty, clean it.
5. Ask the questions of the student and then query all of his answers by checking them on the E-Meter or by asking invalidative or evaluative questions. After you have dirtied the needle, clean it.
6. Ask the questions, but cut all the student’s answers with an acknowledgement, until the needle is dirty. Now clean the needle.
7. Ask the questions of the student, but never acknowledge an answer. When the needle becomes dirty, clean it.
8. Ask the questions of the student, but answer them all for him. Clean the needle after you have made it dirty in this fashion.
9. Ask the questions on the E-Meter, carefully cleaning cleans at every opportunity until you have a dirty needle, and then clean the needle.
10. Ask the questions on the E-Meter. This time miss any and all reads. When the needle is dirty, clean it.
The drill says these are some of the major ways to mess up the auditing cycle and to cause a dirty needle, but there are others which the student auditor should discover by studying the auditing cycle. The needle is cleaned by getting the student’s considerations off with regard to what has been happening in the drill, by maintaining a good auditing cycle while doing so, and by completing the repetitive cycle of getting off his considerations until the needle is clean.
For me, I have been sorting out the bad comm cycles by chasing up on the day to day “dirty needles” in communication. With no meter present, I have been using 2WC to resolve what occurred resulting in the child/person upset – and cleaning it up till I get good indicators. Just simple two way communication. This is with non-Scientologists, as well as with my kids (and partner).
This whole experience has reaffirmed for me the importance of the two way communication cycle in life. This includes making sure that my own children have it as a tool to be able not just direct and be an active part in communication – but also to be able to spot violations of it that cause upset and angst (and get these sorted). They are still young, but I hope to see them get really expert over time.
I have also used it to refresh my own use of this drill in life — and it works every time!