By Lana Mitchell
I am not known for being an angry person.
Anger is not an emotion I regularly find myself caught in, or unable to move out of.
I have a son however, who becomes angry, and then has a lot of trouble becoming “un-angry”. Once he is into that emotion, he finds it hard to “turn off” the anger, and he has real trouble being at cause over the situation he finds himself in.
There is no reasoning with an angry person — and my son can stay angry for hours, with every word and action in that tone, making him more than difficult to be in the same space with.
There are many factors that contribute to a key-in — the obvious one being body rudiments. So when a young body gets over tired, or very hungry, then the potentiality of a key-in is much higher.
And of course when the person is motivator hungry – having committed some undisclosed overt or withhold – then key-in is almost a guarantee.
As a parent, if I am very tired or worn down after a long day, my tolerance and TRs for dealing with a reactional anger is not as good as it should be. But most times when it does occur, I have been able to practice my own TRs and my own use of the Tone Scale to move him out of anger.
What I have found works is:
- Get in his body rudiments with wholesome food.
- Prevent any continued or further overts by running tight control and discipline.
- Assume the tone level of BOREDOM and just don’t move out of it until he moves out of Anger.
It works every time.
The anger fades and then my son becomes bored. And then he finds something to do that is not destructive and the anger episode is completely forgotten (by him at least).
Afterwards I work to get him to look at these episodes – to get “outside of himself” and look at what happened, how he feels, and what occurs when he gets so angry. And this too diffuses it – as he pulls outside of the condition and is able to get as-isness.
The anger is happening less and less — which is something I am relieved about.
I guess from the view of a parent, an adult and an auditor, the more we can do to assist another person to get at cause over emotions they are effect of, the better.
We have many basic tools we can use to achieve this – and for my son this means moving him out of anger at the world, and bringing him up scale till he is back to his regular good-natured self again. I am glad I can help him with this.