By Lana M
We all have something to learn from parents, and I think if I had to sum up what I have learnt from my mother it would be detailed in one simple word — generosity.
My mum is currently away for a week, taking a holiday at the beach. She and my step dad have gone to a holiday home of some friends of theirs, and they are caring for a man who is wheel chair bound and losing the capacity to feed himself and dress himself. Their friend is normally cared for by his wife, but to give her a break and a chance to do other things, they have taken it upon themselves to look after him for a week.
This is just one example — as just a few weeks ago my mother was driving for over a hour to assist another friend who was in hospital after hip surgery, and was bringing her fresh clothes and personal items. She did this repeatedly over a period of many weeks.
Reflecting in it — I could not count how many times she has given things away for free, looked after people, housed, fed and cared for others, and more. That is what she has always done. Even when I was a teenager I had my own friends coming over to talk to my mother, hang out with her, and get help in some capacity.
When I was in the Sea Org I actually lost sight of selfless generosity. I recall standing in food lines on the RPF and watching as people battled with each other, pushing and jostling to be able to get some food before someone else did. I was on the RPF’s RPF for a long while, and I well recall having to wait till everyone else had food and then going to the food line, only to find it all gone.
At the Int base I observed staff members that were not doing well physically, or emotionally, seemingly cast aside in an uncaring fashion — and I was part of the group with a real hardened view on life. Staff members who were in trouble were never assisted or helped, as that could be viewed as sympathizing with them (go figure?). And our sphere of action and responsibility was only within the fences of the Int base — we rarely got to mingle with or help other people (in any capacity).
Now I aint rich, and I certainly don’t have everything mapped. But for some years now I do have a stable space and location. I am confident in myself and my skills and abilities. And I can well afford to help others in any way possible — whether that is a roof over their head, food in their tummy, assistance with work, someone to talk to, or anything else. I have approached people having trouble in life, and audited them for free to handle what was ruining them. I have worked in many not for profit companies that have tiny budgets, assisting them to build up so that they can afford to do more and be more effective.
LRH brings up benevolence in The Way to Happiness, under point 20 “Try to treat others as you would want them to treat you“. And I am starting to really see that by using and applying generosity across my dynamics, it results in the expansion of ARC across my dynamics and an ever broadening responsibility of life.
What is even more interesting is that when I reviewed the Chart of Human Evaluation, I saw that the at 2.5 (boredom), on the Affinity trait, you have neglect of people — a withdrawal from them. At the same level of 2.5 on the Responsibility trait, a person is very careless and not trustworthy. And on Activity, a person is relatively inactive, even though capable of action.
This is at 2.5 Boredom. And as a person sinks down the tone scale further, affinity and responsibility for others drops drastically. A person is not even up to seeing that they are being self centered, as they are focused on just surviving at the tone they are at.
My realization was that my experiences within the group and within the Sea Org, where neglect of people and selfish behavior is the norm, is not written or communicated in any LRH policy or tech. It is actually a direct reflection on the tone scale and tone level of the activity and group. It had puzzled me why I had not experienced generosity in the Sea Org, but it is actually explained when I look at the tone scale and spot the tone level of the group itself (which at the Int base was Fear, and has been for more than 2 decades).
There is an exact LRH technology on how to make an effective group that is high toned and capable. It is detailed in LRH’s Essay on Management (Tech Volume 1) and also in a long forgotten LRH book called How to Live Though an Executive.
“Communications could be said to be the study and practice of interchanging ideas, individual to individual, individual to group, group to individual, and group to group. It has not been clearly understood in the past that the failure of a group to communicate ideas within itself results in the failure of the group, that the failure of communication between the group and its leader results in the failure of leadership. Uniformly, throughout industry and commerce, breakdowns which are blamed on poor leadership, insubordination, or general ineptness may be attributed correctly to failures of communication.
“The leader and his subordinates wish to work smoothly together. They are often skilled at the operations which they must estimate and perform. But, lacking a cultural heritage of good communication, they find themselves unable in many cases to use their skills effectively. Not realizing what it is they lack, they blame each other’s abilities and motives and so create discord and further failure of communication.
“Ideas newly-developed and organized in Scientology have illuminated the subject of communication as never before. There is a clear parallel, in the field of communication, between the individual and the group. With poor communication, the individual is not sane, the group is not effective. With no communication, the individual is dead, the group disbands.” LRH How to Live Though an Executive
Obviously the purpose of auditing is to bring a person up the Tone Scale — and as people progress up The Bridge (training and processing) then they should be rising in tone. The fact that this is not demonstrated within the current group (by action or tone) is evidence in itself that things are not right.
In truth we are all natively capable of generosity. We are basically good and we do care for those around us. And we can make a high toned group, that is capable of great activities. It all comes down to application of communication tools individually and as a group.
Rediscovering that and reaffirming it for me, has been a wonderful lesson.
Thanks to LRH, and without question, my mother.