By Ann E.
When I got into Scientology many years ago I had one major ruin that I wanted to handle.
After getting up the Bridge and through OT 7 it still wasn’t handled, but, I attested because I didn’t think it could get handled on Solo Nots.
That ruin was such a deep dark secret that I could barely admit it to myself let alone anyone else.
I first noticed the ruin when I was just a kid. It had to do with work and having a job. The ruin or key-in that occurred was a feeling of self degradation and one of thinking that almost anyone else could do a better job than I could, and that I was certain to do something horribly wrong. This awful feeling pervaded my life and made me feel like a failure.
With my very first job, a baby sitting job, I felt the key-in occur and for the rest of my life that key-in occurred with every job I ever had.
It caused me to blow from jobs, blow from production.
You can only imagine what it did to my production stats as well as making me feel miserable about myself and my life, because I really wanted to feel the joy of production at work.
I originated this ruin many times while I was on OT 7 and I was always told to just keep auditing and it would handle, but it didn’t.
After auditing outside the church I sought out help but never got the help I needed until I got some auditing with Ingrid Smith, a NOTs trained auditor in the Independent Field.
With the auditing I got with her I began to see what I was doing wrong with my solo auditing. She also helped me to figure how, with the tech, to very precisely narrow in on the exact charge and handle it terminatedly.
After that auditing, I began to solo audit again and this time really confronted and found the exact area of charge and as-is-ed that charge. I didn’t realize how much change had occurred until I noticed that the key-in regarding work that I was so accustomed to have occur just wasn’t happening anymore.
The day that I realized that was recently, and I must say was the happiest day of my life. I can now feel the joy of production and create as I wish in the area without feeling miserable and wanting to blow from the area.
This is an incredible dream come true and one that I had actually somewhat given up on having this lifetime. I realized that this new gift is far, far superior to winning any lottery. It is the gift of personal freedom and true happiness.
I feel so lucky and so grateful to LRH and the tech he gave us and to have help like Ingrid gave me.
I now know that anyone’s deep dark secrets, ones that they can barely admit to themselves, can be handled with the tech on Solo Nots. And yes, I will do all I can to help others experience the relief that I now experience and to have their dreams come true.