By Bernie Wimbush
There has been so much abuse over the years using the topic of missed withholds that I thought it might be worth sharing some of my experience with it. After all it is the cause of all ARC breaks is it not?
A missed withhold is the phenomenon where a withhold is restimulated by another and the person is left wondering whether they knew about it or not.
I love the example where you have just stolen a cookie and just as you put the lid on the jar, mum walks in. The look on her face makes you wonder if she knew about it or not. A missed withhold.
Some suggest that the withhold must be some heinous crime the person has committed. Considering the power of the ARC break that follows, I can understand this view. But it is not the withhold that is to blame, it is the missing of it and the wondering if the withhold was known about or not. **It is actually the person who gets screamed at that is the cause of the phenomenon.
The real understanding of this subject is understanding what a withhold is.
It is an undelivered communication.
Here’s one. One notices that there is no toilet paper and reports it to his senior. The senior accuses the person of being critical and writes a knowledge report. Just a classic missed withhold. The person wonders ‘did he get that there is no paper?’ or ‘did he get that I was genuinely trying to help?’
It is the senior who caused the missed withhold by demonstrating his refusal to accept the communication and is the cause of the subsequent ARC break.
And what about the staff member who wants to leave after years of abuse. Solve that by … was it lions or stakes, no sec checks. Let’s get those heinous crimes that don’t exist, which creates missed withholds of nothingness..
If they were to sit down with the person and find out all the gripes and work out ways to handle them they wouldn’t lose so many valuable resources (who in their ARC broken state take confidential materials and distribute them to the field.)
The corporate church falls into this one. By being unwilling to accept critical feedback it produces the missed withhold and thus creates its own ARC breaks. It is interesting that in the independent movement there is very little of the ARC breaks we see in the orgs. They are better at handling communication and so don’t create the missed withholds.
The answer is communication in a safe space. It is not crimes that create missed withholds and therefore ARC breaks, but the sec checks themselves and the unwillingness to really listen.
“Now, a missed withhold is this whole mechanism of what somebody should have found out and didn’t. And it is what somebody should have found out and didn’t. And that is the whole works. It isn’t a withhold. It’s a should-have-found-out.
“So you possibly will save yourself a great deal of grief if you tell people to get the should-have-found-out’s off the case. Rather than the missed withholds. ” LRH, SHSBC 7 Feb 1962, Lecture 144