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By Lana M

I have written a number of posts about my children over the last couple of years, and about applying LRH tech to help them in as they grow up.

Today my oldest boy got into trouble at school, resulting in a call from the principal to me at home this afternoon.  With much chagrin and regret, my boy came home with an immediate confession about what had occurred (albeit with lots of justifiers) and wanting to deal with the situation. He was worked over to really look at and confront what he had done that had caused the upset.  Then after apologies and amends were worked out, we sat doing TR 0 and he practiced just being there – doing nothing – not fidgeting, twitching, fiddling, rocking, swaying, smirking, biting his lip, or anything else. Just being there doing nothing.

There were somatics in his foot. Then that stopped and we had somatics in his arm. Then he got itchy. Then his eye was sore. Then his stomach felt funny.

I watched him struggle and just try to be there and do nothing. Sometimes he could go for a few minutes at a time, but other times he struggled to get past a minute.  How hard it is to get things done, to accomplish what you want to do, to solve your problems, if you can’t just be there and confront.

How hard it is to listen to another (whether that is a teacher, friend or parent) and how hard it is to be patient with someone, when you are too busy using vias, curves or methods to confront them.

My son has a long way to go. But he is giving it his all. We are taking it on a gradient. He is taking a win when he can be there for just a little bit longer.

I am proud of him for giving it a go. For pushing himself to do something that is not (at first) comfortable, but in the long term, will improve his life and what he can do.

He has some guts, and each little win on it, he gains just a little bit more. A little bit more of just being there.

21 thoughts on “Just be there

  1. And there you have the main problem with kids– short attention spans caused by whatever (recent death, etc.). Thus a restricted ability to see the future and judge one’s activities by the future you will obtain. Thus erratic actions and emotional impairment.

    Obviously, this is not a commentary particularly about your kids, Lana. You should be proud of your son for wanting to work it all out. And Lord! Trying to put kids through TRs! Whoa.

    Obviously, this is a big win, as you can see. But I have to feel for kids, who are more or less crippled by their case conditions coming into a new lifetime. Fortunately life gets easier for them as they age, and particularly if they have a “good mom”.

    Paul

    • If I’m free to make a very personal guess: it’s television and social media. Yes, it’s easy and fashionable to blame them. But several studies (of recent decades) show a decline of attention span with growing TV and social media consumption. And I observed it with people too. Though that changes (at least a bit) with growing media competence. And I’m sure with a Scientological spin we could come up with a sound education and training in media competence. Let me give some ad hoc ideas:

      * understand the comm cycle (c.f. “Dianetics 55!”)
      * understand what dev-t is (perhaps read the parts of “How to Live Though an Executive” or from OEC 0, the Basic Staff Hat)
      * read something on the “Merchants of Chaos”
      * do (as Espiritu mentions) the TR0 – TR4, perhaps loosely, just to get a better idea of the matter; or some comm course materials.

      That should be enough to give a better orientation and handling without too much effort. Good? Ideas on how to improve this? Perhaps (since we’re talking about kids) we should make it more child-friendly. In this case one could draw the contents from the mentioned sources and condense them to their core ideas and drills.

      • To add: Ron realized (in the 1960s or 1970s) that people are dumbed down (decline in education, drugs) and came up with programs that address people with such lowered abilities. We talked about it a year ago or so (on MS2). Perhaps these materials could also be helpful since they should be very basic and approachable. Even if one isn’t affected by bad education or drugs himself, one is usually embedded in a social environment that is affected to a certain degree and that influences others with their views and behaviors (esp. if one has no protective measures like, well, a sound Scientological background, hehe).

        Anyone who can say more about it?

        • SA:

          OMG, you are so right. The more illiterate and drugged out people are, the more they are a burden on those around them. And speaking as one who is neither illiterate nor drugged out, I can say that few things bother me more than having to put up with this in my environment. I have neither the time nor the desire to audit every one of these people up to the point where they are no longer a liability. Living is tough enough without having to compensate for the incompetence of those around you.

          Yes, I know that sounds frightfully arrogant. But insisting that people do their jobs (including parking their cars or whatever other activity other people do that affects you) is not an unreasonable expectation. I don’t expect everyone to be geniuses, but I would sure like it if they would simply do a reasonable facsimile of a good job at whatever they do. And in the current society, this is more and more rare.

          And you (along with LRH) are exactly correct. Cases (and consequently competence) have significantly degraded since the 60s. And the chief culprits are drugs and education.

          Paul

      • So true Sherry. So true. Computers and gaming are high on the list of interests for my kids, so that makes it a constant challenge on getting the balance right. My oldest is incredibly talented with Mindcraft and builds vast imaginative virtual worlds with bells and whistles like you would not believe. He finds it relaxing to create and build – and gets great enjoyment for it, with no problem on doing this for long periods of time — but when it comes to confronting other people — that is a tougher challenge. 🙂

        • LM:

          It might be worthwhile to introduce him to programming. Programmers build tools that are then used to make things easier. Not only is it a form of “artisanship” (in the above sense) but it also involves problem solving very heavily. And no, it doesn’t require any other particular skills (including math).

          Just a thought.

          Paul

          • We are on the same thought pattern entirely! I found a great online course he could do over the summer break (coming up soon) that teaches him the basics of programming, all around Minecraft which he is very familiar with already. I will keep you posted…

            • LM:

              I started programming in about 1974 (before personal computers) and have been doing it on and off since then. Probably 8 languages so far. Kinda like tinkering, but without all the sawdust.

              Once more suggestion, if I may. The most useful language he will learn to program in is called “C”. C serves as the model or basis for any number of other languages. And it’s relatively easy to learn. The definitive reference for the language is a little short book (about one cm thick) called, imaginatively, The C Programming Language. After he’s been introduced to programming, gotten used to it, and if he likes it, I’d push him in the direction of C. I’d be happy to provide him with any guidance along he way. It’d give me a chance to practice my Australian. 😉

              Paul

      • SA:

        No doubt you’re correct about TV and social media. I’m sure it has exacerbated the problem. Another problem may well be drug use by prospective mothers. I personally know of at least one woman who used drugs throughout her pregnancy. But kids have had short attention spans and such since there were kids. Between forgetting all about your past lives, between life implants and such, it’s no wonder.

        Paul

    • Thanks Paul. My kids have cases and it is interesting watching them grapple with them and try to get their own handle on them. The TRs are such a wonderfully simple tool that really bolsters their confidence. They wriggle and squirm, but then they have a win, and that makes it all worthwhile.

  2. This is great, Lana. What a theta warrior your son is.

    In case you weren’t already doing so, I wanted to remind you about the gradient of the very aptly named OT TR0 prior to TR0.

    And also the gradient of cycling through the TRs, taking a win on each TR up to TR 4 and starting again at OT TR0 and doing them all again and having more wins with each cycle through.

  3. I think boys will test the boundaries, mores are figured out, mistakes are made and realised and are not made again. If the mistake is habitual, then there is something to worry about and auditing down the track called for, otherwise lighten up. I wasnt exactly a saint myself, now I cant get to sleep for the damn glow of the halo 🙂

  4. I didn’t really care what any of my kids did as long as it was not mean and did not upset or overrun the self-determinism of others. We would just take a really good look at whether they would really like someone to do “that” to them, with real life demos and everything. Other than that, I was always on their side. I had to bail one of them out of the principle’s office about once per year, because, being small for his age, he was sometimes bullied…..until the bullies learned the consequences of bullying him! I told him to tell bullies that big surprises come in small packages. They were encouraged to find their way and keep in comm with me. No bullying or being bulled was allowed. Period. And I really dished out the admiration when I heard about them being kind to someone or standing up for someone else who was being wronged. By and large they created a safe and fun space wherever they went. They were also encouraged to be funny and laugh a lot. Somehow we survived.
    I know that your children will too. You are doing great, Lana. You will all come through with flying colors.

    • E:

      Be glad your children were educated and grew up in an earlier era. I’ve been scolded by my daughter not to use terms like “fat” or “dumb” around my granddaughters, because such words are forbidden in their schools. You can configure your hand in the form of a pistol and point it at a kid, and be expelled (real example). Not only has the educational system been massively watered down, but it has now become a vehicle for teaching to various psychotic agendas (including political correctness). I pity these children when they finally are forced to face the real world of adults.

      If I were in my 20s today and faced with the decision to have and raise children, I’m doubtful I would. Unless I was very well off and could afford to home school them all the way through to college.

      (If I were home schooling them, we’d probably have some extra courses like tree-climbing, drinking from the hose, running with scissors and swimming directly after eating. 😉 )

      Paul

  5. Sounds like the kind of supplemental “home schooling” that I did when they were in grammar school. No TV in the house. I would rather that they go out and get into their own trouble. For example: Once I was going to sell a small travel trailer that I had had parked in the driveway for years and discovered that the roof was all dented in. Putting two and two together, I asked and they admitted that one of their games had been jumping off the garage roof onto the trailer. So, I felt that at least the trailer had been put to good use! This was our M.O. Oh, and by the way, there were no childhood accidents or broken bones or any of that stuff. Later I completely home schooled them instead of high school. We did children’s study courses, basic study manual, student hat, and Method I. they read books that they were interested in, took a test and got a high school equivalency diploma. In Jr. College they got 4.0s and then won good sized scholarships to good 4-year schools and did very well there. They acquired the skills they needed to do what they wanted to do for a living and have always been very stably employed. It worked out well.

    To my observation home schooling is even easier to do today for parents because, in addition to all of the Scientology study materials, we now have the internet so there are also on-line courses and tutorials that are available in just about subject. If I were raising kids today I would go for it. It can actually be a lot of fun as well as effective.

    It is ironic that the “anti-social workers” in schools are more effective at keeping fingers looking like guns out of schools than they are at keeping actual guns out of school. No learning is going to happen in a dangerous environment. Each school that my kids attended received a letter from me stating that psychology and psychiatry are against our family’s religious beliefs and stating that no such “testing” or “interviews” were to take place without my specific prior consent. It did not mention the word “Scientology”. That put them on notice that messing with my kids was tantamount to opening up a can of legal whup-ass ….although the letters were very polite. 🙂

    Anyhow, I agree that home schooling is the way to go! And it is not any more expensive than public school these days.

    • My only concern with home schooling is isolation from other kids. We live on a farm that is 5km away from the closest village and if I home schooled my kids they would get very little chance to socialise with those of their own age. I am lucky actually as the local school we have has only 84 students and has been around for 150 years. It has some great teachers and it is like one large happy family.

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