By Lana M
An OSA email was sent around to a bunch of email addresses in recent days, working to discredit someone in the field. We have all seen these emails at various points – I certainly have.
A person who received the anonymous email, read it and then sent it on to his friends with a warning that he thought I was the person that was sending these emails around and that I am “playing both sides”. His proof that I must be the author of the anonymous email was that it was sent from a hushmail account, and I too have a hushmail account (albeit a different one). He warned his friends not to trust me. He also made the point that “all her activity seems to be to break up the independent field by “bad mouthing” people.”
As I have a personal policy not to mud sling, and I do not engage on natter blogs or chats, I thought it was an interesting accusation. Who am I bad-mouthing?
Admittedly there have been two posts I have authored, of almost 500 articles on MS2, that may have caused some trouble. One of them was a post that was published for less than 4 hours and was then taken down, which asked a field auditor to return money that had been taken from a preclear with promises of service that were not then delivered. There was a public outcry from several persons that I should never have posted the article, named the person or gotten involved – but I felt ethically obliged to, and so did. I don’t know that it resolved anything and suspect that the money has still not been returned many months later.
The other was an article I wrote about two out-ethics individuals who had caused some trouble here on the home-front. I did not name them in the article, which unfortunately seems to have missed withholds from a whole gamut of people who all assumed I must be referring to them (when I was not). It was a mistake to post that article as I continue to hear rumours of people who are now steering clear of me because they assumed I was talking about them. It is a reflection on a) the ethics level of the field and b) the lack of clean up and “clean hands”, and c) the way the larger group in the field responds to a (very light) ethics gradient. It was a mistake to post the article and I won’t be doing it again, as it seemed to make a vast number of people uncomfortable, which was never the intention.
So per the rumours, I am not to be trusted, I am breaking up the independent field, and the most popular rumour is that I am OSA run or controlled. This last one has been circulated steadily now for several years, probably based on the fact that in late 2010 I had RTC visit my home for 3 nights in a row and I cooperated to get a justice action done to look into past injustices. When Milestone Two was launched it was this rumour that was used to cause a number of people to jump ship.
The fact that I am not standing on one side of the fence and pitching rocks at the people on the other side of the fence, is enough proof for people who do engage in this type of activity, to think I must have another agenda.
Possibly the reality break that occurs is that there are a vast number of people in the field who have left the Church of Scientology (either publicly, or very quietly) and they have unresolved upsets, out-tech or confusions which they have not sorted out. They had a postulate relating to Scientology, to their spiritual freedom and to the group, and they abandoned that postulate and moved onto something else. But without cleaning up and resolving that first postulate, they find themselves unable to really move on – still hung up on or with the subject, finding fault with it and with others involved in it.
I don’t engage in critical natter about the C of S as I consider that they are well intentioned people, doing the best they can with what they know and believe. They are not bad people. There are a handful of SPs that create problems within the C of S (just as there are outside of the C of S), but Sea Org members, staff members and parishioners are just trying to do their best. There are many good people I have worked with, both within and outside the Church perimeter. I won’t throw stones at former staff or at those still on staff. I see no point in it.
I believe that people in the field who have moved away from the C of S are good people. Many of them have failed purposes or thwarted goals, and they throw in the towel and discredit their past gains and successes using or applying Scientology. If there was an LRH Chaplain program operating that traveled around the globe, providing free sessions and clean ups, then these people would be able to end cycle and move on – but such a program does not currently run and instead they try to find relief by venting to others, which does not help or alleviate the bypassed charge.
I have many times provided a free ARCX service to people who just want to handle the BPC. It is a no-strings-attached offer, and I try to provide them some relief so they can get on with their life.
There is possibly another reason why I am not trusted by some, and that is that I don’t believe there actually is an “Independent Scientology” field. In my experience many of those who call themselves “Independent Scientologists” are not training or auditing, but spending a lot of time flinging mud around at the C of S and others, with little to no plans to actually do The Bridge. Either that or they have decided that Ron had it wrong, missed something, didn’t complete his research or had a screw-loose, and if they do any Scientology they practice bits and pieces mixed in with things of their own (or others) manufacture, often in a hodge podge mess that results in disaster for their preclears. So this “Independent Scientology” field is independent of LRH and The Bridge, which means it aint Scientology. We should rename is just the “Abandoned Scientology” field and they can wander off and do what ever they wish.
There are a number of groups and auditors and individuals who ARE working hard to just do Scientology in the field, per the book, using the resources, training and capacity that they have. Some do an incredible job of it and others do the best they can. These people I support wholeheartedly and bend over backwards to assist or help. I am one of these people and I have received help from many people with more technical training and experience than myself, and I thank them for this.
So, back to the subject of this article — trust.
I don’t really care if people “trust” me or not.
I don’t have delusions of grandeur or a desire to take over the world. Sorry to disappoint some (LOL).
I don’t have a campaign to “save” all the non-believers, or to undermine those who have decided to leave Scientology altogether.
I also have no plans to overthrow the Church, to bring about its down-fall, or even to cause trouble for them.
If you don’t trust me — that is OK. It really is no skin off my nose. I have opened my doors to close on 100 people over the last several years, helped many, written/moderated 462 articles on a blog that has had over 10,000 comments with more than 300,000 visits. I have been open and honest in my articles, sharing my journey, my lows and my highs. I do my best for each person that comes to my door or emails me for help — and my help is honest and genuine. There are many who can confirm this.
I do not need or desire approval from others. I do what I feel is right based on the philosophical beliefs of Scientology.
I trust L.Ron Hubbard, as each piece of tech that I study, drill and apply, works and improves life. I know that no matter what occurs in the Church or in the field, the tech will continue to work each time it is correctly applied, and that nothing can shake the certainly of a person who has experienced those gains.
I have that certainty, and that is plenty enough for me.