By Lana M
“A human being will revolt against and distrust any source which contributes to him more than he contributes to it.” LRH, New Slant on Life
Raising a young family is always an interesting journey, and as my kids grow (now 10yrs and 6yrs) we have moved to a new phase in my household where all have to contribute.
I will freely admit, this is not the way it has always been.
My bad habit has been doing things myself, as when children are young it is often the easier route than spending time forcing (or enticing, encouraging or bribing) them to contribute.
And I also have a consideration that a child forced to “help” against their own will does not generate responsibility but only resentment – so I have been patiently waiting for their individual responsibility and capacity to increase — which it has now done (thankfully).
I love my children, as all parents do, and it brings me pleasure to help and care for them — but I now need to hold myself back and insist that they contribute as a family member and no longer rely on “mummy” (*Australian spelling) to be some sort of servant or slave to their every need.
I am consciously working to change habits and activities in this household — and it is working. The wheels are turning and the kids now know that they are expected to assist and contribute and that this is part of their job and hat as family members. There are few to no arguments and little whining or whinging – which is really heartening. The basic chores, jobs and responsibilities garner contribution so that they are creating and caring and building this household.
In Australia, just as in many other countries, there is a real “cotton wool’ kids phenomena. A large majority of kids are driven to school and rarely walk or ride. They attend lots of extra-curricular activities (sports, music/dance, etc.) and are generally surrounded by a multitude of mass produced toys — but there is little that they actually contribute to the family.
Obviously this is a generality and does not apply to every family or every child — but it is a certainly something that is predominant and evidence of revolting (excuse the pun) kids and teenagers are visible locally and broader afield.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if was generally known and understood that exchange is what keeps a person’s bank off them?
Wouldn’t it be great if the general culture expected that children and teens contribute to their families as much as their families contribute to them?
And wouldn’t it be a different world if this was applied more generally on the 3rd dynamic?
Heck — even looking at the revolts that are occurring inside and outside of the Church of Scientology shows that there are inequities in terms of contribution…
But ESMB will probably disagree with me (LOL).