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By Lana M

My own parents are ageing — as are the parents of so many of my friends. There are a handful of people here in Australia who are full time carers for one or both parents and have been unable to come for auditing as a consequence. I know it is the same elsewhere too.

I was recently reviewing the LRH references that pertain to this circumstance and came up with a list of things that can help provide some guidance. I have not listed the source for each — as most are self explanatory. This is also not a complete list, so please feel free to include additional points if you spot some.

  • The Way to Happiness – respect for your parents, care for your parents
  • Assists for aches and pains; touch assists, body comm, (plus many more in the Assist pack)
  • Medication oversight (this is a key one as it appears that some tend to end up on a load of medications plus self medication (alcohol)
  • Keep them busy/active as much as their mobility permits.
  • Work to have them complete cycles of action.
  • Maintaining their self determinism and personal choice
  • Self analysis is a great way to improve perceptics and recall
  • Straightwire processing on times of past inhibited or enforced affinity, inhibited or enforced communication, inhibited or enforced reality.
  • Running pleasure moments to raise tone and key out bank.
  • For heavy drinkers – locationals

There is also the conversation that occurs at the end of a person’s body life, where you help them to complete cycles of action/wrap up those things that attention are on. And a straight conversation that it is OK to move on.

I have 4 elderly parents (mum and my step-father, father and my step-mother). Of the 4 people, 2 are in good health and 2 are in a constant decline of health issues, injuries and problems. I have not lost any yet — though undoubtedly in the next several years at least one will be unable to continue physically.

I hope the above is helpful for those that read here.

It was a useful exercise for me.

Cheers

 

 

 

 

15 thoughts on “Elderly parents

  1. Serious question here for Jim and Chris: At one time, there was a rundown or an action aimed at preparing the “terminal” person for the event of body death. It had some stuff on there to make reclaiming ones’ PC folders and such simpler next lifetime, as I recall, but I believe there were some auditing and other actions on there as well. Does anyone recall that, and do we know if it was LRH-directed or Miscavige-fabricated? If legitimate, do we know what was on it?

    Paul

    • There’s this from the Assists Handbook, Paul, with the LRH reference for it:

      ASSISTS FOR SOMEONE WHO IS DYING

      Reference: Lecture 12 Feb. 57, “Final Lecture: Question and Answer”

      Use of Processes: These processes can be used with benefit on someone who is dying.

      Information: A thetan needs reassuring. The way you reassure him is to show him he can hold on to things, and show him he can still touch things, and he can still sense things. Locational Processes and Keep It from Going Away, that sort of thing, are of terrific benefit.

      Procedure:

      There are several processes in this category that can be run:

      Locational Assist (Section 1, page 51)
      A Havingness Process (Section 2, page 87)
      Keep It from Going Away (Section 2, page 74)

      • Thanks, Paul. However I’m a bit confused about the 2nd one, Havingness. I am recalling a tape (sorry, no number or date, not exact title) about “ownership” where, if I got it right, in passing on Ron suggests a rejection of ownership.

        It would also be nice to have some kind of ceremony. As Lana mentions, completing COA is a biggie; I’ve personally seen it bring on a quicker and less painful passing.

        • PZ:

          Sorry, I should have been more informative. Far be it from me to know how to make up processes. I leave that to Ron. But sometimes, without an explanation from Ron, it’s hard to imagine how a process seems to accomplish the exact opposite of what you might imagine, just from hearing the commands. And this may be one of those cases. The process seems to add up to rejection of ownership, whereas the ability to own things is precisely what the process produces. Of course, the ability to own things also suggests the ability to reject ownership. In other words, it is the ability to be pan determined about ownership you’re actually going for. This last is pure speculation on my part. Unless you can find the exact process Ron was referring to and the source material it came from, it’s hard to know what’s what. I feel your pain, though. I’ve had things like that– where you know Ron said something and you know it’s pertinent to the present discussion, but you can’t remember the details or where/when you remember it from.

          Paul

    • Paul, I heard about some kind of action / rundown to be done, and re-connecting with your PC folders next time round, but I never saw anything, and nobody came up with anything specific. That was quite a while back. I occasionally asked since then, and never got an answer.
      The only thing that I have seen is the funeral services in the minister’s manual.
      Some people have things to say, and need to be listened to.
      Others need to listen to someone talking, and letting them know that the world is still going on around them They want to know that their friends are still doing well.
      And, you are right. They do need to be reassured that it is OK to proceed.

      • 1984:

        Yeah, during the time period we’re talking about, Advance! mags advertised a sort of “passport” with all your personal data in it, which was supposed to help you track down all your folders and such next time around. I’ve tossed all my old mags or I’d be able to show such an ad.

        But like you said, there was also some sort of before-you-die-sort-out action or rundown. I figured it was something LRH had developed before he died, but mentions of it were brief and then I never heard about it again. So it may not have been an LRH invention at all.

        Paul

  2. I’ve mentioned before that, near the end of my paternal grandmother’s life, she was in the hospital with whatever ailments afflict those of advanced age. This woman was, as I knew her, active, interested and endlessly curious. When I heard she was sick enough to be confined to a hospital at her advanced age, I knew she was not long for this world. One of the worst things I’ve seen in cases like this was when someone wouldn’t let go as they wasted away, unhappy seemingly but unable to do anything about it. I didn’t want my grandma to have to go through that; she had always been too independent to be happy under continuous medical care. So I wrote her a letter, trying to make it okay for her to leave. As I understand it, it was very shortly after that that she died.

    I believe that my letter was a significant factor in allowing my grandma to go on.

    I’ve told this story before. How it ties in here is that, in effect, that letter more or less should have given grandma the idea that whatever unfinished cycles she might have had regarding me should be considered done. In fact, it might even be that this gave her the idea that perhaps there were other areas where she could consider cycles complete. I can’t say about that. But I’m sure that I made her comfortable with being finished as far as I was concerned.

    I’m not saying everyone should do as I did. And it’s a tricky business. You don’t want to do such a thing if you’re not sure the person is close to the end. It could be quite an ARCX. I’m only pointing out that it gives weight to the idea that one of the main things that keeps a person here when they really should go on is the idea that they have unfinished cycles of action.

    Anyway, good list Lana. Thanks.

    Paul

    • In the last years had several persons friends and relatives going.
      The issue of a person who dies or approaches death may be the end of a cycle of an identity, if that person has identified himself with that identity. It may also be the end of one ore more purposes connected with that identity. The ARC with others may play a role. Questions like “to be a family”, “to care for one’s spouse” etc. may involve other person’s ARC as well. I have seen one person who couldn’t go because the family wasn’t ready to accept that. The tried to hold the person, making everything nice for him, telling how much they love him. A day after it had been spotted that they kept him from going by doing these things and discussing this with the family the person went.
      With a different person ARC was prevented. The person was separated and the communication interrupted and was “helped” to die, possibly with unlawful means. This is a matter of unresolved enturbulation, loss and confusion. It became a sort of stuck situation.
      Another person had cancer and died. We had 9 months of almost daily (NOTs)-auditing before to see if something could be done to improve his condition. (We didn’t have the diagnosis then and didn’t know that one organ of him was already almost destroyed.) The last months he was under morphium against the pains. The auditing did a lot of good for him though and helped to have a less involved viewpoint. His last words were “there he goes, the … (naming his name)” and died. I understand this as an act of him ending this identity.

  3. There was a time in in the church (mid 70s – early 80s) when a culture of kindness and understanding for the aging was in the air. We were young, vibrant firecrackers, but respectful of older, more mature and experienced staff, S.O. and public.

    Even now, I recall a time on the Solo Course when an 85 year old lady arrived in the course room, offering to coach younger students. I accepted and the entire experience was so memorable I remember it with delight still today.

    Her presence in the room seemed like an event that we all shared in; Supervisors and students alike all felt richer for her being there with us. And fun aside, her TRs were INSPIRATIONAL!

    Within the group there was a growing sense of expectation that a culture of even greater care and facilities, help and understanding of the elderly would evolve within the community. (this new but ever expanding movement toward sanity and peace)

    But after LRH passed and DM transgressed his way to power that all changed.

    Perhaps this brief article by Lana is a new beginning for those joyous days, when like some wise and ancient cultures, the aging are dignified and honored members of their Scientology community once again.

    R

  4. Ren:

    You reminded me also that there was a time when old-timers (as in Scientologists who’d been around near forever) were revered and counted upon to know great stories about LRH or other orgs they’d spent time in (particularly AOs and SHs). They also knew the juiciest tapes to listen to (the whole track or space opera ones). They also had a lot of apocryphal stories (things they’d heard from someone else) that they were glad to pass on; we hoped most of those were true.

    Of course it’s only good manners to treat older people with added respect. I don’t know about other places, but in the South (U.S.), that’s the rule. You hold the door for them, let them take your seat on the bus, and ensure you’re always polite in your speech with them. This is true of most Southerners. And Florida (where I live) is full of old people who come here to vacation and to die. Unfortunately, we also have a bumper crop of New Yorkers and North-Easterners who, in their elder years have moved down here. These people are rather coarse and rude in their behavior and speech. Consequently, I suspect they get rather less respect.

    Paul

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